I’m not very connected to my body. Worse, most of my triggers are activities which force me to acknowledge my body exists. My anxiety would prefer we continue living in my head and deny the body status as part of the being called Kate.
This has now become a big problem for me.
The last time I saw my counselor I was doing really well, and proudly told him of all my work and accomplishments. Until we stumbled on the topic of my body. I then stumbled over my words for the rest of the hour. I became full of anxiety. I wanted to leave the room as soon and as fast as possible. I had tears in my eyes and my brain was shutting down. “This topic is too dangerous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” , Anxiety screamed in my ear. My homework was to give my body a seat at my Committee of Emotional Cooperation.
I spent the weekend obsessing over what to say to my body, and fearing what my body would say to me. I felt guilty and sad and angry, just as I was beginning to feel more happiness. “Can’t I just continue ignoring these uncomfortable feelings?” I asked myself. “No. Our entire life mission is to allow discomfort and listen to what those feelings have to teach us. And now we will fully invite our body to share its experiences as well”. At least part of my brain is brave and rational.
Kate: Emotions, we have a special guest at our committee today. I have invited Body to join us. Let us all start with a few words for her, and then Body, you can take the stage.
Anger: I’m enraged over what you have experienced.
Guilt: Body, I am so sorry for all the hurt we have caused you. We are a terrible person, and have mostly abandoned you. I can’t imagine you would ever want, or be able, to forgive us.
Sadness: Body, it is devastating what you have been through. It overwhelms me with grief when I think about how you have been hurt over the years.
Fear: I want to protect you. I am very afraid you will get hurt again, and I’m trying to keep you safely covered and out of harm’s way as much as possible. I’m also afraid you are mad at us for the pain we have caused you.
Happiness: I’m really grateful for everything you do, Body. We have so much fun together when biking through the city or singing our favourite songs. I hope we get to hang out more!
Kate: I think I most identify with Guilt. I have done as much as possible to separate Mind from Soul, and both from you, Body. I have cut off communication. I have treated you as a non-entity. I have deprived you of care and comfort. I don’t want to feel the pain you’ve experienced. I don’t want to acknowledge its existence. I’ve been so overwhelmed by the pain in my mind though, at times I have purposefully cut into your skin to have a different kind of pain to distract me. I feel so terribly guilty about how I have treated you. I haven’t wanted to hear what you would say to me, as I am positive you wish you could trade up for a different mind with which to live. I don’t blame you. But now I have braced myself for your words. Don’t hold back.
Body: We have experienced pain. We have been used and abused and treated like a doormat. Our cells are constantly working to keep us functioning as a whole, and sometimes this is difficult when you don’t properly nourish us. We have been very encouraged by the recent increase in water consumption. It really is a vital ingredient to our success!
In 2013 we have already regenerated approximately 5.33 trillion cells. That is 5 330 000 000 000. We aren’t concerned with the hurts of the past. All we want is a healthy environment now so we can continue our work being the temple, so to speak.
Right now. That is all we care about. Do we have the nutrients to do a good job? Have we been exercised and given a chance to grow? Have we been rested adequately? Some of us have the night shift, and when you don’t give us a full night of sleep, we can’t finish the job. It is in our best interest, mind and soul included, to get enough sleep, exercise, and nutrients. Do you realize how important a healthy diet is to us? Think about how we smell when you fill us with chemical and sugary junk. We are trying to get your attention to switch to healthier foods.
Comfort. You have neglected us in regards to comfort. Fear, I understand you want to protect us, but we need to be touched. Hugs and kisses and cuddles are good. Please find more people to touch. Please don’t be afraid of touch. Not every touch is sexual. And not every sexual experience is bad.
Guilt, we forgive you. We aren’t stewing in resentment. We adapt to how you treat us. Treat us well every day and we will work better as a whole.
Sadness, we are okay. Thank you for grieving for us, but at this point the grieving period is long gone. It is time to focus on the present. Talk with happiness about the good times we are having!
Anger, use that rage to keep us healthy. Motivate us to be strong and to stand up for the vulnerable.
Listen to your body as it contains a world of wisdom. Schedule frequent check-ins. And treat it with the respect and honour it deserves.
What is your body saying to you right now?